Hermiones Christmas at Grimmauld Place
by mioneshipper
Summary: Hermione is staying at 12 Grimmauld Place this Christmas. Even though she misses her usual routine at this time of year she seems to be enjoying a small part of her stay. Until one night Hermione finds Remus Lupin alone in the library.


Hermione lay in her bed in Grimmuald Place staring up at the ceiling. It was Christmas Eve morning and as Ginny had already gone downstairs for breakfast Hermione was alone. Hermione felt sad this Christmas as she wasn't with her parents on their skiing trip. She wished she could have gone with them but it would have been slightly dangerous, with everything going on and so with the advice of members of the Order and Ron and Harry's encouragement, she decided against it. She heard the happy bustling of her friends, their family and the Order downstairs. A deep sigh left her chest. She would have to go down eventually. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, dressed in jeans and a blue blouse and headed down stairs. As she passed the decapitated heads of generations of the Black's house elves, Lupin appeared at the bottom of the stairs looking in the direction of the kitchen, he was laughing.

" Oh Sirius, you mad man!" he exclaimed as he took the first few steps up the stairs and suddenly noticed Hermione.

"Ah Hermione, good morning!" he smiled cheerfully at her and as he passed where she stood on the steps he placed a friendly hand on her shoulder. She controlled herself as her insides held a private firework show. As he was ascending higher into the house he called down to her.

"We just had breakfast but I'm sure you'll find something left over, if Ron hasn't gotten there first!"

Hermione sighed again as she controlled herself, and chuckled slightly at the comment about Ron, he did eat an awful lot.

Once Hermione had entered the kitchen Sirius was the first to see her, he was using his wand to send all different assortments of decorations around the kitchen.

He grinned.

"Hermione! I thought I might cheer this place up a bit, what d'you think?"

Mr. Weasley was sitting at the kitchen table with his back to Sirius, he rolled his eyes slightly, and then smiling up in Hermione's direction he directed his speech to Sirius.

"Yes Sirius, if we haven't all assured you a hundred times, its brilliant!" he winked at Hermione.

Sirius also rolled his eyes and continued decorating the kitchen, muttering under his breath. Mrs. Weasley, who Hermione hadn't noticed was approaching her, gave her a small, welcoming hug and turned to scowling slightly.

"Now Arthur really, Sirius was nice enough to lend us his home!"

Hermione grinned at Sirius and assured him it was great before sitting in an empty seat between Fred and Ron at the kitchen table.

"Morning" she said to both. Ron smiled up at her, his mouth full of food and Fred looked at her and smiled back too.

"Morning Granger"

After Hermione had eaten breakfast, and Ron and Harry had decided to start a game of chess in the library, Ginny agreeing she would watch, Hermione decided to fetch some books from her bedroom and read as they played.

She had collected A History Of Magic By Bathilda Bagshot and a few other books and as she was leaving her room she heard Lupin coming back down the stairs.

"Hello again. I've just been up feeding Buckbeak, Sirius is too busy with his decorations." Lupin chuckled but suddenly noticed she was alone and was sporting a troubled look on her face. He moved closer.

"What's wrong?"

Hermione had been looking at him and in her own thoughts of how good-looking he was, she had showed her sadness in how she couldn't have him. She had clicked back to earth and realised what had happened. She shook her head slightly and smiled sheepishly up at him.

"Oh, er, sorry I was just thinking about my parents.."

Lupin smiled sympathetically, obviously buying her story. Thank goodness. Once again he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and even lightly rubbed it with his thumb.

"Don't worry Hermione, you'll see them again soon" he mused.

She took a deep breath, to him it must have seemed that she was trying to re-assure herself that what he said was true, but really her heart was racing. She smiled back at him and nodded lightly, not knowing what to say. He gave her a small pat on the shoulder and headed downstairs once again. What is wrong with me? Hermione thought as she watched him go. I _need_ to be more careful.

Hermione hid behind her book, sitting in a big dark green armchair in the library, as Ron and Harry played their chess game, but she couldn't concentrate on the letters or words on the page at all. All that she could think of was Lupin. Why did he have to be so handsome and intelligent. How she wished she could be his, sleep in his bed and be wrapped in his strong arms. But that would never happen; the age difference would bother him too much. After a while Ginny asked her if she was okay, Hermione assured her she was great and Ginny seemed happy enough with this, after all, Hermione did usually read a lot. Time slipped away and after Hermione had decided to give up her book, cuddle up in the armchair and simply watch the game of exploding snap, which Fred, George, Harry, Ron and Ginny were now playing, she slowly dosed off.

She was awoken what must have been hours later by the gentle shaking someone was giving her.

"Hermione…Hermione?"

She opened her eyes and blinked wearily up at whoever it was. Slowly the smiling Fred came into focus.

"Hermione, dinners ready, Mum's made stew."

Hermione nodded, and as Fred left the room she stretched and rubbed her eyes.

She made her way to the kitchen and sat next to Harry. She ate her stew slowly and listened in to the conversation around her, she laughed as Fred and George teased Ron that if he ate anymore he'd probably resemble a troll.

"You'd be fat and dim!" chimed Fred as Ron scowled at him.

As her and Harry chuckled to themselves Hermione looked up and saw Lupin laughing with Sirius, she looked at him in awe as his amazing smile brightened the room. But then she took notice to something else. Snape was sitting at the far end of the table staring at her. She glanced over at him and he did not remove his eyes from her. She blinked, flustered at the sight and turned back to Harry, trying to start a new conversation, looking back after a while to see Snape was now looking at his plate, eating, he did not look up.

Later on, after dinner and pudding, Hermione helped Mrs. Weasley clear up and once it was a reasonable time to go, she wished everyone goodnight and snuck off to bed.

Hermione was not even that tired, especially as she had napped earlier, but she wanted to be alone. She got into her pyjamas and slid under her covers, for a while she thought about Lupin and then how Sirius was also quite attractive. Which brought her to remembering Snape at dinner. Why was he staring so intensely? Did he see that she was staring at Lupin? With these thoughts Hermione did eventually fall asleep again. Suddenly she was in Potions class, and Snape was staring at her like he had before, Hermione was extremely uncomfortable and was trying hard not to look at him but she couldn't look away for longer than a matter of seconds. Every time she looked back at him he was still staring as strongly as before. No one else in the classroom seemed to notice, how she didn't know! Hermione was actually becoming quite infuriated and soon class was over. She was packing her things away and did not notice that everyone had left when she heard the door shutting. Hermione looked around and Snape was coming nearer.

"Granger, how lovely for you to stay."

He was approaching nearer and Hermiones breathing got heavier; she took a few steps back and almost knocked over a cauldron.

"Sir?"

He came ever closer and Hermione closed her eyes, not knowing what to do.

With a twitch Hermione was awake. Quickly she sat up and looked around, Snape was nowhere to be seen. Hermione let out a sigh of relief. She picked up her watch from the floor next to her. It was half past 2. She didn't really know what she was going to do, maybe grab a glass of water, but she got up and slid on some socks before slowly creeping down the stairs. As she was heading for the kitchen she saw the light on in the library. She peeked inside and saw Lupin, sitting in a chair his head in his hands. Hermione stood very still. Hermione had no idea what to do. Did she dare go in and ask him what was wrong? Or would she simply go back to bed and forget it ever happened. The second option was half possible. As she was deciding what to do the floorboard creaked beneath her foot and Lupin looked up. He did not see her but after she counted to ten Hermione walked in. He looked up at her, surprised and taken aback.

"Hermione…what." He cleared his throat and tried to look more natural "what are you doing up?"

Hermione gave him an apologetic look and unintentionally started talking very fast.

"I'm sorry I was just coming down to get some water after a bad dream and as I was passing down the stairs I saw the light was on and…" she didn't know what to say next but thankfully Lupin was nodding, his eyes on the carpeted floor.

"Yes, yes it's fine. Don't worry."

All was silent for what seemed like a long time and Lupin did not look up.

"Uhmm…Professor Lupin?" Hermione gulped. "Is anything wrong?"

Lupin looked up at her, his eyes obviously filled with pain, but as he gazed at her he slowly hid the pain in his eyes, storing it momentarily away, before smiling weakly.

"It's nothing Hermione really." His smile faded and once again he was looking at the floor. Hermione feeling very sorry for Lupin walked over to him and sat next to where he did on the small sofa.

"Are you sure?"

Slowly he looked up at her once more, this time his expression was unreadable. He stared into her eyes and she stared into his. She didn't know what came over her but she placed her hand on his leg to comfort him. He looked down at her hand and then back to her, the same unreadable expression on his face.

"You can tell me," she whispered.

Without much notice, he moved in and pressed his lips strongly against hers. Hermione was taken aback, was this really happening? But she didn't stop to ask. She could taste firewhiskey, but she didn't care. As he kissed her she moved her hand to his chest and his to her cheek. As he kissed her more passionately she tugged at his shirt, pulling him closer. He kissed her harder pushing her down so she was lying against the end of the sofa and he lay against her. She slipped her hands under his shirt and slid her hands up his bare chest. She wanted him so badly; this was what she had been waiting for, for so long. He tugged the top of her pyjama bottoms and she raised her hips so he could drag them off. She frantically moved her hand to unbutton his jeans, and ripped them off him. They kissed passionately, Lupin caressing Hermione's tongue with his own. He slid a hand down her waist and along her thigh. Hermione let out a let out a shaky breath, as they kissed but thankfully Lupin did not stop. If anything he kissed her harder and she kissed him more passionately back. He slipped off her knickers and slid his hand between her legs. Hermione gripped his hair tightly and then quickly pulled off his boxers to release his large erection. With a slight groan, his eyes closed tightly, he slid inside her. Hermione let out a small whimper. She was his.

After they had both climaxed, Lupin just stayed where he was, lying over Hermione, sweating and panting heavily, as she was. Hermione opened her eyes and looked into his. His eyes were still closed tightly, as if he never wanted to open them. She gently rested her hand on his cheek, stroking his skin with her thumb. She waited but he still did not open his eyes.

"Remus?" she whispered gently to him.

Still not opening his eyes he raised his hand and took her wrist, lowering it to the sofa. He sat up and then finally looked down to the carpet. Hermione gulped, what was happening.

"Hermione..." he whispered, looking away to the other side of the library. "You should go" he slightly choked.

Hermione felt a sting, a sharp, strong sting in her body. Why was he doing this to her?

"But...Remus...I-"

"Hermione, just go…just fucking go." He had his forehead rested on one of his hands.

Hermione felt sick. Fine then! She pulled on her pyjama pants and picked up her knickers. She was raging, and so hurt she felt raw. She stormed out of the room and ran upstairs. Who cared who she woke. She angrily tore into bed and lay down. She cried, anger and confusion pouring through her, until eventually, sleep found her.

The next morning Hermione woke and Ginny was still asleep, she checked her watch and it was half nine. She could hear people downstairs. Where she went from here she didn't know. But she finally found the courage to get up and get dressed and face the breakfast table. _Hermione you're a Griffindor_, she thought. You have to confront him; you can't let him do this. She walked down the stairs as confidently as she could, once outside the kitchen door she listened. She couldn't hear Remus' voice. Only one-way to find out if he was there. She opened the door and walked in, looking at the floor, the conversation did not stop but she heard Fred and George shout

"Merry Christmas Hermione!"

Hermione smiled up at them as best she could, she had forgotten it was Christmas!

She sat in a seat that was at least two seats from anyone else and looked up. When she did so, she saw Fred and George laughing and joking about something with Tonks who was sitting across from them, she saw Sirius across the table and two seats down from her. was in conversation with Kingsley Shacklebolt and there he was, Remus Lupin sitting on the end of the table, staring into his breakfast with no obvious hunger. As she finally saw him he looked up and did not leave her gaze. He looked at her with a look in his eyes, asking for forgiveness, but she looked quickly away, without a forgiving look back. She looked up at Sirius, who seemed rather down himself and Hermione's attention was slightly distracted. Why did he look so worn? Hermione was distracted once again as Harry had just walked in. He sat next to her and looked up.

"Merry Christmas Hermione" he yawned. "How are you?"

Hermione felt a gaze on her; she averted her eyes for a second and saw Remus staring up at her, waiting for what she would say. She moved her eyes back to Harry and smiled gently.

"I'm fine Harry and Merry Christmas to you."

After Mrs. Weasley had forced Hermione a plate of breakfast and most of the occupants of the house had populated the kitchen table, all opening their presents, Hermione asked Harry and the others who were now sitting next to her to excuse her as she went to the bathroom. She was just out the door when Remus too, excused himself. Hermione was just outside the bathroom door when she heard footsteps coming up the stairs behind her. She turned around and Remus emerged from the top of the stairs. He cast a glance down the stairs to make sure no one was coming.

"Hermione!" he whispered.

She simply stood there, really what could he say! Remus walked towards her until he was a foot away from her.

"Hermione please!" he glanced over the banister "I need to talk to you." He looked at her again with the pain in his eyes she had seen the night before and she couldn't do anything but nod and open the door to the bathroom to let him in. Once she had closed the door behind herself she set a _muffliato _spell on the door. She stood looking at the floor in front of the door before swerving around, tears in her eyes.

"Remus, what can you say" she sniffed and tried to hold back the tears. "You sleep with me, then just tell me to fuck off and leave me not knowing what to think."

"Hermione I-"

"You what!" tears were rolling down her cheeks, as she furiously tried to rub them away.

"I'm so sorry." He choked.

They stood there in silence for a minute before he spoke again.

"I was having a bad night, and you came in and you were comforting and loving and so, _fucking_ beautiful and I should have been the gentlemen that I needed to be but you were there and you put your hand on me and I just gave in and took advantage of you!"

Hermione was staring at him, her eyebrows arched and her mouth was open, but then she frowned.

"So you just shunt me away because you felt guilty?"

"I'm so sorry, really I felt so bad and all I wanted to do was go to your room and apologise, but I got to your bedroom door and heard you were-" Remus stopped mid sentence and Hermione felt ill. He had heard her crying. She sat down on the edge of the bath near the door and stared at the ground again.

"Lupin…I've wanted you for a while now. Ever since I saw you again after you left your teaching job. Last night was something that I've really wanted." Silence fell over them again. Hermione heard Lupin move over to her and she saw his legs in front of her, he bent down and his face was level with hers, but she still stared at the tiles of the floor.

"Hermione." His soft voice made her eyes lift to meet his.

Lupin, once again, leant in and kissed Hermione softly on the lips. He cupped her face in his hands, and then pulled away, but she pulled him back again.

He didn't resist her, and she started unbuttoning his shirt. He took it off and then took off her t-shirt. He unhooked her bra as they kissed and then he stood, lifting her with him.

She pressed him against the wall at the end of the bathroom. He caressed her breasts and she let out a moan of pleasure. She pressed her body tighter against him, she could feel his hard cock through his jeans and she unbuttoned them and dropped them to the floor. He kicked them away and did the same to hers. Eventually they were both naked and he pulled away from her lips and breathed into her ear.

"Are you sure you won't get hurt, being with me?"

Hermione felt so attached to Remus, that if he pushed her away now she might cry. She shook her head.

"No, I wan't you, please, just take me."

Remus picked her up and she spread her legs around his waist, slowly he pushed inside of her and she ran her hands through his hair. Gradually building speed he penetrated inside her, until the door opened. Remus was the first to notice and he dropped Hermione, she looked up wondering what had happened, he was staring at the door. She looked behind her quickly and saw Sirius standing there, wide eyed. Remus pulled on his boxers and looking back up at Sirius he took a step towards him.

Hermione had never heard such pain in either of the men's voices.

"Sirius, please listen to me."

Sirius closed his eyes, and shut the door behind him. Hermione picked up her knickers and her top and put them on.

"What Remus…Hmm? How could you possible explain this?" Sirius raised a hand, gesturing towards Hermione. "We had a fight and now your screwing Hermione Granger!"

Hermione had no idea what was going on, but Remus ignored her confused expression.

"Sirius you know how I - I thought we were - I was so desperately hoping it wasn't over, I was distraught and - "

Sirius looked up, not at Remus but at Hermione.

"And of course you didn't even know, how fitting for you eh Remus!" Sirius looked up at Lupin and gave him a look of anger and pain. Lupin had a tear on his cheek.

Hermione stood there not knowing what to do. Sirius and Lupin were together. She had fucked it up. Sirius looked at her and walked over to her, Hermione half cowered into the wall. His face was right in front of hers.

"She's beautiful isn't she Remus? How does it feel?" Sirius placed his hands on Hermione's waist. Hermione froze and placed her cheek against her shoulder looking down at the ground.

"How does it feel seeing me against her, knowing I'm going to make love to her, seeing the passion in my eyes – "

"Sirius please!" Remus was looking nervous and angry. Hermione was slightly scared. But Sirius persisted.

Hermione looked up into his eyes, his grey, beautiful eyes that always looked so full of life. Sirius pressed his lips hard against hers and pressed his body against hers so she was pressed fiercely against the wall. Hermione tried to pull away but his hands were on her face. But after a moment he was gone and Hermione looked down on the ground to see him lying there. Remus had pulled him off her.

"SIRIUS! What do you think your _doing_?"

Hermione was slightly shaking, Sirius had scared her, and his breath was strong with firewhiskey, just as Remus' had been last night.

Hermione looked up at Remus, he barely glanced at her before bending down next to Sirius.

"Sirius…I love you more than anything. I don't know what I'd do without you. I don't love Hermione, we slept together last night" Lupin choked slightly another tear falling down his face. "Sirius please, I need you, I was just so vulnerable and I couldn't stand the thought of losing you so I filled the gap of you with Hermione, she's seventeen, you know once your name is cleared I want to marry you."

These words hurt Hermione too much; she looked down at the two of them. She was never Remus' and he was never hers. She picked up her jeans and threw them on.

She took a final look down at the two of them; Remus had his forehead resting against Sirius'.

"Sirius…_please_, please can you forgive me."

Hermione walked past them both and opened the door and ran straight for her room.

She closed the door behind her and slid down the frame. Her body shook as she cried and sobbed, and she folded her arms on her knees and rested her face inside them.

A knock came on the door.

"Hermione?"

It was Harry. Hermione's dear friend Harry. She had been so wrapped up in her parents, and Lupin in the past couple of weeks; she forgot to be a friend. Hermione slid away from the door and sat against the wall.

"Come in"

Harry slowly walked in and saw Hermione crumpled on the floor, her eyes red and puffed and straight away, bent down to her, his voice sounded alarmed yet strong.

"Hermione! What's wrong? What's happened?"

Hermione cried, trying to stop the stubborn tears falling, and Harry sat down next to her, wrapping his arms around her.

"Harry! Harry, I'm sorry!" she sobbed even more but tried to talk through her cries.

"Lupin – and – and I didn't know – but we –" Hermione couldn't finish her sentence but Harry just sat there until she could talk. Eventually Hermione told him everything; he seemed surprised and slightly angry, but comforted her all the same.

"Hermione it's okay." Harry stroked her back. "It'll be okay."

Hermione sat there lying against him.

"Harry…You're my best friend, and I love you."

Harry smiled slightly and Ron walked in.

"Bloody hell, Hermione are you okay!"

Ron shot down and knelt in front of her, she nodded, slightly weeping and Ron hugged her tightly. Hermione sighed shakily into Ron's chest.

She pulled back and looked into his eyes, and he gave her a look. A look she knew she had seen before, but only this time she knew. He was going to be there for her, no matter what she said, or did, he would protect her. He _was_ hers and she was his. He loved her, and she loved him. She looked into Ron's eyes and Harry said

"She slept with Lupin…but he's dating Sirius."

Ron looked at Hermione and his eyebrows were slightly raised.

"Hermione…"

She thought he would be mad at her, so angry he would leave, but his expression changed, he looked her dead in the eye, as serious as she had ever seen him and told her,

"Hermione, it's okay, I will _always _be here for you."

Hermione smiled, a genuine, and loving smile. She hugged him tightly around the neck and he hugged her back.

She knew he would.


End file.
